The Real Israel

the business study mission to israel concluded on a tired note this afternoon. we were travelling across the country at break-neck pace, stopping at different cities, different hotels every night. but israel needs to be visited, because it calls for other important perspectives, which would never get unless we experience them for ourselves.

a place so wrought with political tension, yet so resilient to it all. their motto of ‘you knock us down and we will come back at you twice as strong’ is inspirational to say the least- it’s exactly what makes them tick. the thing on every one’s minds: the economic prosperities of singapore and israel (after all a school course we had to discuss all this!) 2 different models of economic growth: one where the government is the sole provider and the other where they go out of their way not to rely on the government. we had a great debate about this when we were leaving Israel, getting into Jordan. Lots of blaming the father of the nation and more defending him for his policies. ( I never felt much for this land. It’s home and it provides and I am thankful. I don’t want to get messy with the politics. I don’t feel I belong anyway)

on retrospect, i must say this trip was more about rediscovering my wanderlust. i had fun running about after hours explorin the cities by night. the euphoria of being in a foreign land, learning and interpreting their ways – trying to live like them and walking through their everyday alleys is a rush in itself. granted this short trip did not give all that, it refreshed my mind on the glorious 5 months spent in europe. anyway here are some more pictures – not all, just some.

Petra

The In-Between Thoughts

I realised a couple of things between the time my head rested on the pillow and I slipped into a deep, dream-filled sleep.

1. I will never have time for a relationship if I keep retreating into myself and blaming my family for taking up too much time. For the most parts, I know they are pretty much hands off lest for the curfew. But I think, its just me in my head. I speak to myself too many times and come up with things that might not exactly be there. Spastic eh?

2. I get heady excitement from the corporate world. As much as  I moan that I don’t like the unfeeling, cold and cut-throat corporate world, I think I love the change and excitement with stock markets, macroeconomic outlooks, ICR, corporate governance and all the business babble that entails. People interactions, game theory and all that jazz… It all pulls me down and yet, gets me going.

Asian WSJ, BT, IHT, BBC, CNN, Bloomberg … all keep me going every single day. I don’t think I want to get out of the corporate system just as yet. But then again, I don’t wanna be in the thick of it. Hmm. Confused?

Yep, I admit I love it. So, my last term in school looks like this:

Ethics and Social Responsibility (compulsory)

Strategy

Change Communication

Asia Pacific Business (going to Macau on a field trip)

I need another econs course. Gotta look into it.

So going back to the start… pretty heavy stuff for before-I-fall-asleep-introspective-thoughts eh?

Plead the Fleeting Moment to Stay

These days I think a lot about the future.

A LOT.

I feel the weight of the end of a life’s chapter looming ahead of me and as much as it excites and envigorates me, I am scared. Scared ‘cos the life I want for myself may not be achievable. I wonder at super humans out there who seem to be able to do it all and that too, effortlessly. I secretly wish that there is something that they are lacking or missing out on. You win some, you lose some… right?

I try not to think about the numerous grievances that I have over the past 4 years. Every time I regret, I remind myself not to limit my mindset to the here and now. It’s my life… everyone can have opinion on it but in the end its mine to live. Which brings me to the headache of the moment. I absolutely envy all my friends who have minimal or no family attachment. You ask me what’s my biggest distraction, that’s it: family. I’m not sure if 20 years on I would look back at my selfish 22-year-old self and say that family was all worth it. If Indian movies or soaps are anything to go by, sacrifice for the greater good (family) is lauded highly. I’m not sure if I can do all that.

My mother has been showing me pictures of guys and all, and well, as much as I appreciate the fact she is ‘introducing’ me to people, I don’t think I want this right now. Especially when I am not sure what the outcome would be. Just for friendship or a more than friends relationship, I can deal with. But nothing more than that. I am too comfortable with my brand of freedom. I want to test to its limits; push myself in a job to the hilt. Too many new experiences ‘cloud the model’ – as my econs prof would put it. Too many variables, too much chaos.

Is this too much to ask?  (Don’t bother answering)

Ideally, I would like to really work for the next 5 years in the communications (journalism/media/PR/corporate relations) industry and get my hands really dirty with it all and then, perhaps settle down.

oh well. just a thought. an incomplete thought for now.

One Week. Almost Done.

AY 2007/08 Fall Semester has started off nice and quiet. I am uber excited for classes this semester. I am back with this total zest for learning and absorbing everything thrown at me. Kind of like how I was when I first started out in Year 1 before getting totally distracted, jaded and demoralised. 3 years on, with battle bruises and emotional scars, I am back, more mature and with more purpose. I am motivated to get the best out of the next few months. Plenty of career and industry talks for the graduating student and to appease the curious cat in me.

The courses I am doing this semester are exciting:

ACCT201 Corporate Reporting and Financial Analysis

ECON107 Applied Econometrics

COMM360 Investor Relations

ECON118 Economic Development in Asia

MGMT301 Business Study Mission: Israel

COMM205  Public Relations Writing (TA)

The BSM to Israel will culiminate in a visit to Haifa and Tel-Aviv in December which is SOOO exciting. I hope all goes well; I’m putting down my deposit for it tomorrow. As much as I don’t want to dream too much about it and just concentrate on the course (which in itself absolutely interesting to a closet geek like me since it is about business synergies and possibilities in the high tech and defence industries.. plus the middle east has so much of history..), I can’t help but start thinking about visiting places like Jordan (Petra!!) and Jerusalem.

Can you feel my excitement? Heh. In other stuff, I have decided to become a bit more ourgoing and cheerful this semester. Instead of scowling and looking down as I walk, to smile more and look happier. Make more solid friendships and nuture existing ones. I kinda suck at the maintaining friendships part… so if I have asked you for your address and not sent you anything… fret not.. it’s coming SOON.

I have also taken to be a more responsible person. Exercising every day, cutting down on nasty food, not pissing off my parents while doing everything I can to test my limits (heh)…. the list goes on and I can’t say it any other way.. I am happy!

Hope you are all having a good time as I am. Now I need some sleep before a long day ahead!

Introducing Roshni – 22 Years Is a LONG Time!

I am in a particularly bloggy mood this cool, breezy Monday morning and the largest most complicated topic I could think of immediately to talk about was.. ME. Man, War on Terror and Global Warming just lost out…
I am not trying to sound complex here but sometimes, what I say and do are just reflections of the multiple identities I have to appease. So this goes out especially to my native Singaporean friends or to those who are generally kay-poh (curious in Singapore slang). Understanding me.

Disclaimer: Its fucking long. Apologising in advance for the number of braincells that will contemplate harakiri at my pointless writing.