I Think (Too Much) Therefore I Am (Confused)

So yesterday I spoke to Dawn, our course instructor and a lady with 20 years of experience in the PR and CC field and was given the (already known) verdict that it is possible to go into the industry without any CC background. It’s not I learnt something I didn’t know but she confirmed what I had deduced: that it’s personality and some innate aptitude that works for people in this industry. And, industry practices can be learnt on the job.

So now, I’m thinking… Rosh, you need job experience. Rosh, you need to get out there and get a real world feel of what is happening. Rosh, get an internship where you really learn. Also, with the number of courses I have left to do, I am sort of rearranging my graduation plans… YET AGAIN. I am unsure if I am headed the right way but I am glad I have some sort of flexibility. And, I suppose if I have an internship/ part-time job, I can help avoid certain things that are brewing in the back.

I don’t know why but I always make everything about my life some sort of existential struggle within me to find the elusive truth. It sounds so fluffy when I put it in words but I think I always attached a spiritual almost impractical quality to my life. It feels so silly and arrogant to say this but I always think that I am destined for better, if not, great things.

I am going to try to get where I want to be. It’s a happy place with lots of love, happiness and contentment. It would be lovely to be there, wouldn’t it?

 ———–

I have been reading quite a bit since I got back.  I just started on ‘The Inheritance of Loss’ by Anita Desai, winner of Man Booker prize (2006). It is about globalisation, the westernised Indian in Indian India and the consequences of colonisation. An almost common topic that runs through most Indian authors. I came across this interesting paragraph in it.

    No human had ever seen an adult giant squid alive, and though they had eyes as big as apples to scope the dark of the ocean, theirs was a solitude so profound they might never encounter another of their tribe. The melancholy of this situation washed over Sai.

    Could fulfilment ever be felt as deeply as loss? Romantically she decided that love must surely reside in the gap between desire and fulfillment, in the lack, not the contentment. Love was the ache, the anticipation, the retreat, everything around it but the emotion itself.

- The Inheritance of Loss, Anita Desai (2006)

 

MERDE! J’Adore Francaise De Plus En Plus…

I received a phone call today at 330pm regarding a french placement test I had submitted last Friday. It was a very pleasant-sounding french man and he was calling to check on my french oral proficiency (I crack up at how that sounds. Knowing how sexually charged the French culture is, if you tell someone you are going for French orals, I wonder how they will take it). We had a short conversation and he tested me on my ability to understand and respond. I tried to answer in varied ways to show him how good I was, being extra careful with my pass compose (past tense). I knew it went very well, when he said that he was not sure where to place me because as per my test, I should brush up my grammar and remain in elementary level. So after some convincing, I am officially in the Intermediate level 1 class! Just a bit afraid ‘cos now I really need to brush up my grammar which is a bit in the merde right now. CMON ROSH!

SO EXCITED! He was very very nice over the phone and my sister (who always eavesdrops) said I sounded like I was 15… all giggly and silly but I was conversing in French the whole time to a French man… and I guess I was excited and afraid of screwing up.

Lalalalalalalala. I just talked to a chinese friend on internship in India and he is having a good time, despite being pseudo vegetarian. I’m glad that he is there and experiencing it all for himself. You can tell people that India is not just about yoga, sacred cows and Bollywood but unless they really experience it for themselves, the race around trees for romance mentality will always stay with them.

My Life, The Movie

Music is a very very very important part of my life. In fact, I always have a song running through my head or a song that pops into my head when I am feeling some big feelings (wow great choice of words Rosh!). Like the other day when I was getting confused about some guy in the middle of the night, I had the song ‘Trouble Sleeping’ by The Perishers playing.

Ok so to cut the story short, I did the little thing that has been doing the rounds of the blogsphere, to which I have returned to. (Hears a rush of cheers from fellow inhabitants)

Switched on my iTunes and put my music library on shuffle and listed down the songs as they came to fit the soundtrack to my life’s movie. So without cheating (very hard but I tried), here is OST: Roshni.

OPENING CREDITS:
How Insensitive – Lisa Wahlandt & Mulo Francel

WAKING UP:
What Goes Around… Comes Around – Justin Timberlake

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL :
Victory (Mike Batt Mix) – Bond

FALLING IN LOVE :
The Lonely Goatherd – The Sound of Music

(YES, I have that song. Gosh I wish I never fall in love to that song)

FIGHT SONG :
Standing Still- Jewel (HAHAHAHAHAHA)

BREAKING UP :
Bas Ek Pal (Just A Moment) – OST: Bas Ek Pal
(Sad hindi song on breakups and betrayal)

PROM :
Let Me Love You Boy – Daft Punk

LIFE :
Simple Rules – Massive Attack

MENTAL BREAKDOWN :
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk

DRIVING :
Bombay – Timbaland

FLASHBACK :
Group 4 – Massive Attack

WEDDING :
You’ll Never Find Another Love like Mine – Michael Buble

BIRTH OF CHILD :
You’ll Be Safe Here – Rivermaya (That’s quite sweet, know?)

FINAL BATTLE :
Six Days – DJ Shadow feat. Mos Def (OST: Fast and Furious – Tokyo Drift)

DEATH SCENE :
The Time Is Now – Moloko

FUNERAL SONG :
Love Will Tear Us Apart – Susanna and the Magical Orchestra

END CREDITS :
Green Tree – Stephane Pompounac (Nice lounge music)

Ok la, I have a lot of strange, unrecognisable music in my laptop. It’s what you get when your musical taste is so varied. But I kind of like what turned up though I have a feeling I may be doing this regularly til I get the perfect soundtrack. HA! And this is supposed to be a random churning of songs to match the unpredictability of life.

CHRONIC NEED TO CONTROL. EVERYTHING.

Baby Got Back.

SO I AM FUCKING BACK ONLINE!

The Europe trip (it was my study exchange but everyone knows what kind of an education I received there) was awesome. Eye-opening and liberating, I think I was able to come into my own. I don’t think there was a time I was unsettled or unhappy and it was great to recognise that feeling. I have to strive to cherish it for as long as I can. A happy Rosh is a more creative and lovable Rosh.

It’s also got to do probably with the fact that I am more focussed this time round. Take away all that is redundant and focus on what you want. As much as I hate self-help books and what they espouse (things your ten-year-old could have told you with less flair), I read one when I returned and it changed my mind about things. It did talk about things like goal setting in grandiose terms ( I think it was something like Sivana System for Enlightnment) but in the end, it boiled everything down nice and simple to understand.
Sometimes, you really need the obvious stated to you in order for you to truly grasp it.

I decided that I will/should be blogging more. Even if no one reads this, it should be a good way to express myself instead of crawling back into my hole once things start to look gloomy.

Just a thought. I sure hope I lose my heart before I lose my mind.

Wah. So poetic.